Beyond Gondolas and Waterfalls: Our Experiment in Marriage

As Lisa and I celebrate our wedding anniversary, I can’t help but flip through the highlight reel of our adventures together. There’s the honeymoon snapshot with a charming Venetian gondolier (who may have stolen the show), the night in Beijing when we somehow ended up dancing on a table at a local bar, and the breathtaking calm of Iguazú Falls that felt like nature’s own love song. Vacations like these make it easy to enjoy each other’s company.

But as Lisa would say, to paraphrase Susan Griffin’s “Love Should Grow Up Like a Wild Iris in the Fields“, marriage isn’t just made on gondolas, dance floors, or postcard-worthy landscapes. It’s built in the everyday moments. And over the years, she has shown me what it means to lean into the unknown, most recently leaving her hometown, moving to Philly, and starting over in a new city, building a life with me from scratch. That leap of faith and adventurous spirit has always been an anchor of our story.

At the end of the day, we’ve got each other’s backs and even after 25+ years, she keeps me on my feet. It isn’t always about the grand gestures but rather, small, daily acts that demonstrate  “I get you” and reaffirm “I’ve got you”.  Whether it’s having the morning Joe ready to go, preparing dinner after a long day, or enjoying a peaceful stroll through the park, we’ve learned over the years, that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a skill set.  The secret is simple: adoration doesn’t rely upon gondola rides or waterfalls alone. It is built upon caring and mutual respect—over coffee, over chores, and over time.

Michael MIller, MD is a behavioral cardiologist and best-selling author of “Heal Your Heart: The Positive Emotions Prescription to Prevent & Reverse Heart Disease”, published by Penguin Random House.